So many come from homes where more attention was given to what was wrong with the child rather than what was right. And, sadly, many other children have faced violence, neglect and abuse. In all these cases, the child’s mind begins to feel chaotic, not knowing when another episode of shaming or violence will surface. Gradually, this inner chaos feels like the norm. So much so, that when things don’t feel chaotic, the world doesn’t feel normal: doesn’t feel right.

Enter The Snow Globe Effect: shaking things up because chaos feels more familiar than true peace or love. 

When a child is raised in an environment like those described above, that child has no real inner reference for healthy, stable, genuine love. And certainly they have no real inner reference for peace. Consequently, when, as adults, life feels consistently comfortable, or a love feels deeply connected or a job feels satisfying and solid…well, life doesn’t feel right. Something feels off. Oh, there’s no chaos.

So that’s when a person might shake things up, in an effort to create chaos, so the world feels more like the normal state experienced as a child. Remember, to those who come from narcissistic parenting [when nothing pleased the parent, or the parent was lost in his or her own addictions or abusiveness] internal and external chaos was the everyday way of life.

Shaking things up might look like picking a fight with a spouse right after a wonderful day together. Shaking things up might be failing at an easy work task just before an evaluation that’s expected to be very positive. Shaking things up might be no-showing a second date after the first was remarkable. Shaking things up might be finding fault with an otherwise great situation, person or thing.

Sometimes shaking things up is even more hidden: thinking negative things about a person you really care for and who cares for you because these really good feelings don’t match your inner reference for what it’s like to be in a relationship.

You know you’re living The Snow Globe Effect when good things consistently go south.

By simply gaining awareness of what you do to shake the good things up in your life, you can learn to put the snow globe down, watch it settle, and become more comfortable with comfort. Then you’ll begin to experience the fullness of life all were intended to know.