Death of a loved one is hardship. In the hit movie, Trainwreck, Amy Schumer’s character, also named Amy, struggles to connect deeply with others, grieves her father’s death, and begins a healing journey. Let’s take a look at all three aspects of the film, and life.

In Trainwreck’s opening scene, we see Amy’s father lecturing she and her sister on why he and their mother are divorcing. In the end, he has the girls chant his motto that monogamy is unrealistic. And this motto solidifies the message he has been giving his girls with his behavior all their lives: “Do not connect deeply to another. It’s dangerous.”

The movie goes on to depict Amy’s dad, who is now in a convalescent home, with a history of falling short of his duties as a father. Those shortcomings began with a string of infidelities stretching back to his daughter’s early lives. He is also critical and crusty. In other words, he has never felt safe as someone his daughters could deeply connect with.

But the girls, like all girls and boys, want the love of their dads and moms, so they do whatever is called for to get that connection. You see that when the little devotees boldly chant dad’s motto.

And so begins the journey of one of life’s biggest tasks—learning to safely “attach” to others. The behavior of Amy’s dad left her with an attachment injury. As a result, Amy reflected perfectly back to her father the clear message of his motto. At one point in the movie, Amy’s father sees what’s going on. Amy, like her father, was in and out of many relationships, using sex and alcohol to not feel. In this way Amy was creating insecure attachments.

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But what was it Amy was trying not to feel? She was trying to numb herself to the pain of wanting deep connection with someone, but not knowing how.  Her parents didn’t teach her that lesson. If parents don’t provide consistent, safe and unconditional love for their children, those kids grow up to be adults who don’t know how to connect. Instead, these kids grow up to be adults who find unhealthy ways to fill the hole in their hearts left by their parents.

Insecure attachments are the wounded psyche’s way of meeting the need for connection, without the danger of really attaching. Which works until it doesn’t. This shows up in the movie when Amy’s late nights end up costing her a job.

CLICK HERE for a continuation of Amy’s Journey and how she begins to heal.